Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
