Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
