k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
