im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
