yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
