fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize