We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
