I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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