Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
