You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
