i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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