we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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