You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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