i jhust puked up my retainher.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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