Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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