Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
