I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
