this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You ate ashes out of my bong
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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