I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
