meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
