after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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