Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
