Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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