You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
