Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
