I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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