Moan for me like Helen Keller
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This is my gift to your gina
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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