You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
