lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
