okay pat passed out under dana's car
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
