so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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