My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize