He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is the high leading the old right now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize