I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
