I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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