All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Randomize
