try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
