Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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