I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
its liver damage thursday
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
