I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
