literally had 100 drinks last night.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
