from now on my penis is your penis
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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