Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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