his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
