If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize