my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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