Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
