Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
