Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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