Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
