Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize