very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i out mim tonsoeep
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
