i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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