so explain again why im purple
no
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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