i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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