If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
