But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
this is an emotional support booty call
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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