I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I touched a dick in church today
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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