dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
