The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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