Whod you bang
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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