I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize