R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
