Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
