i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if only i could text you this smell
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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