only if we run a train.
done.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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