I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
